Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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