why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
