Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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