pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
