My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
