I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
