There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
