don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I checked into jail on foursquare
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
