Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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