There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
