I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
