I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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