Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
