Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
