just survived the first fart of the relationship.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize