hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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