How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
