My first STD was from a foam party
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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