I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
