oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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