It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
