Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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