i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
