Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
