Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
