So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize