Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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