Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We talked him into tasing himself.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
