I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
