P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
