About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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