I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
