every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
