When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
