I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Bring me that man meat
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
