She said her name was "party"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
