Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
