I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
