we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
