If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Its about making memories worth repressing
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
