I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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