PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize