my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
