Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
