Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
