I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
