maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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