Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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