Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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