The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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