You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
