yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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