I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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