Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
