You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
