i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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